I have reached my next objective on my walk around the tip of Cornwall on the South West Coast Path.

Why I Am Writing This

In the story of my life published on my web site I have written briefly about how I came to acquire a family in Cambodia. For reasons that will become apparent, I now need to expand on that account and correct some statements that have been published by one member of my Cambodian family.

Ouk Vuthy

In July 1991 I left my home in Bristol, United Kingdom, for Phnom Penh, the capital of Cambodia, to serve as administrator for Southeast Asian Outreach, now Cambodia Action.

Early in 1992 I changed my church allegiance from the English-speaking International Christian Fellowship to a church whose services were conducted in the Khmer language and attended mostly by Cambodian people. There I met Ouk Vuthy (family name Ouk, given name Vuthy), a man aged about 23.

Vuthy befriended me and began to visit my home on Sunday afternoons. He was interested in learning about Jesus Christ and we worked through Mark's gospel together. He also began to tell me his tragic life story.

Vuthy did not know when he was born so he had assigned himself an arbitrary birthdate of 7 October 1968. That would mean he had been six years old when Phnom Penh fell to the Khmer Rouge in April 1975. Like everyone else in the city, Vuthy's family had been forcibly evicted into the countryside, assigned to a village and put to work in the rice fields. Vuthy's father had been a police officer and was therefore associated with the previous regime, so it was vital that he conceal his identity, as it soon became apparent that the Khmer Rouge were intent on eliminating all vestiges of class distinction and killing anyone who had previously held a position of authority.

Perhaps one of Vuthy's family members let something slip about their previous life or perhaps the family was betrayed, for late one afternoon, just before dusk, Khmer Rouge soldiers marched them out of the village to the local killing field. A soldier attempted to despatch Vuthy with a blow to the head, but he was merely stunned and fell into an open mass grave. His father jumped down and managed to revive him. This disruption to the proceedings caused the soldiers to abandon the execution, so everyone returned to the village as night fell. The next day Vuthy's family, realising that their execution had only been postponed, decided to commit suicide by drinking bleach. Vuthy was afraid and ran away. By the time he returned all his family were dead.

After the overthrow of the Khmer Rouge in 1979 Vuthy returned to Phnom Penh. He was destitute and homeless, so he went to live with an elderly Buddhist monk at Onalom pagoda.

The young Ouk Vuthy

When I met Vuthy in 1992 he was still alone in the world and living in the pagoda. He had attempted to escape from Cambodia across the border into Thailand in the hope of being resettled in the USA but had failed. He had attempted suicide several times but had failed. At the age of 23 he was still trying to complete high school.

Vuthy Myers

In 1993 Vuthy became a Christian. By 1994 he had been evicted from the pagoda and was sleeping on my settee. In accordance with the Cambodian practice of recognising a patron or provider as a kind of foster-father, he now called me 'Daddy'. He also changed his name from Ouk Vuthy to Vuthy Myers (family name Vuthy, given name Myers), though he continued to use 'Vuthy' as a given name.

Vuthy and Sokha

At the end of 1995 I left Cambodia and returned to the UK. Vuthy went to live with one of my former colleagues for a while, then set up home on his own. He was asked to help establish Cambodia's first Christian bookshop and was subsequently appointed as its manager. In 1997 he married Thou Sokha, a country girl from Kampong Cham province. Vuthy gave up his job and went to live in Sokha's home village, where their son was born in 1998.

In 1999 I returned to work in Phnom Penh for four months and Vuthy paid frequent visits to me. On one occasion we travelled to Kampong Cham to meet Vuthy's wife, son and mother-in-law. Vuthy wanted the family to move to Phnom Penh, where he felt their prospects for making a decent living would be better than in a small village occupied by subsistence farmers. To facilitate this I agreed to Vuthy's request to put up the money to buy a house. Foreigners were not allowed to own property so I gave the money to Vuthy and Sokha and they bought the house jointly. Returning to Cambodia later in 1999, I found the family installed in the house, but Sokha unhappy and on the verge of returning to her village. I assumed she was finding it difficult to adjust to life in a big city, but perhaps there were problems in the marriage relationship. After some persuasion Sokha agreed to stay and make a go of things in Phnom Penh.

Vuthy and Sokha did not stay in the house long. To increase the family income they found a tenant to rent the house and they rented a small flat at a lower rate.

Vuthy, Sokha and Myers

Over the ensuing years I spent increasingly long periods staying with the family until I was alternating two months with them and two months in the UK. I was now father, father-in-law and grandfather (from 2003 to two grandchildren). Vuthy and Sokha repeatedly insisted that I should eventually make my permanent home with them and allow them to care for me at the end of my life.

But beneath this happy family life on the surface there was an undercurrent of tension. Vuthy was increasingly coming home late at night in an intoxicated condition. I later found out that during the periods when I was not resident with the family there were arguments and alleged cases of domestic violence.

Vuthy and Sokha Apart

Things came to a head during my visit from mid-July to mid-September, 2006.

• For much of the time Vuthy was drunk, even when collecting his daughter from daycare.
• One night I had to frog-march Vuthy out of my bedroom.
• I awoke from my siesta one day to the sound of my grandson crying because of what his father had done to him.
• My grandson described how his father had given alcohol to his three-year-old sister to drink.
• Sokha began to tell me horror stories of what went on when I was not in Cambodia.

Finally Sokha announced that she had had enough and was going to leave Vuthy. On Saturday morning, 9 September, she hauled Vuthy off to the local police station, leaving the children in my care. There a policeman drew up an agreement stipulating that Vuthy would have no access to his children; in exchange Sokha surrendered all rights to the assets she had held jointly with Vuthy, including the house I had paid for, by then worth at least $100,000. On Monday, 11 September, Sokha moved out, taking her children and a few personal possessions with her. Two days later I returned to the UK, grieving and emotionally drained.

I continued to visit Cambodia, though for much shorter durations and at less frequent intervals. At first I stayed with Vuthy, but eventually his drunkenness became intolerable and I moved to a hotel and later a guest house.

Since leaving Vuthy Sokha has worked hard at three cleaning and laundry jobs to provide for her children, but her income has been insufficient to pay for habitable accommodation, so my friends and I have provided money for her to rent a one-bedroomed flat. Vuthy has not offered to contribute to his children's upkeep. Meanwhile Vuthy has been unemployed, has allowed his business of guiding visitors around Phnom Penh to lapse and has lived off the $300 per month he receives from his tenant.

My contact with Vuthy became less frequent in 2010. He moved house but did not give me his new address; he did not reply to emails and his telephone was unreachable.

Vuthy's Alternative Story

In June 2010 Vuthy gave an interview to Angkor Thom magazine. The magazine article begins with the reporter stating that Vuthy was mildly intoxicated at the time the interview took place. Vuthy is then reported as describing his early life, his adoption of me as his father, his marriage, my behaviour when I stayed at his home, the break-up of his marriage and Sokha's and my activities since then.

Because many of Vuthy's statements are untrue, and because he falsely alleges that I acted inappropriately towards his wife and that we have committed and continue to commit adultery, I will now list the statements in the article that I know to be false and will set out the true facts underneath each one.

I assert that I have never acted towards Sokha with any impropriety or in any way other than what would be entirely appropriate to the relationship between a father and his daughter-in-law. I contend that just as several of Vuthy's statements about his own life can be shown to be untrue by comparing them with the story of his life and CV that are published on his web site, so also are his statements about Sokha and me untrue; indeed they are defamatory and malicious.

Untrue Statements of Fact

Mr Vuthy Myers has a younger brother who works at the Ministry of Health.

According to his life story on his web site, all Mr Vuthy Myers's family died during the Pol Pot regime.

Mr Vuthy Myers worked for the United Nations Transitional Authority in Cambodia (UNTAC).

According to the CV on his web site, Mr Vuthy Myers did not work for UNTAC.

While Mr Vuthy Myers was working for the United Nations he had an English foster-father named Myers Cooper.

When Myers Cooper met Mr Vuthy Myers in early 1992, Mr Vuthy Myers was not working. He was studying at Russey Keo High School until June 1993 (see his CV).

Mr Vuthy Myers was receiving a high salary.

Mr Vuthy Myers was receiving no salary. He was at school.

Mr Vuthy Myers saved money to buy a new house in Sangkat Tuol Tumpoung while he was still unmarried.

After being told to leave Onalom Pagoda, Mr Vuthy Myers lived with Myers Cooper, until November 1995. Afterwards he lived with another foreigner, then rented a house in Sangkat Tuol Tumpoung. He married Thou Sokha in 1997 and lived with her family in Kampong Cham province.

In 1999 Mr Vuthy Myers asked Myers Cooper to give him and his wife money to buy a house in which his family could live. Myers Cooper agreed to his request and transferred $35,000 from his bank account in England to Mr Vuthy Myers's account at the SBC Bank in Phnom Penh on 22 July, 1999. $33,200 was for the purchase of the house and $1,800 was to buy furniture and equipment. After Mr Vuthy Myers and Mrs Thou Sokha had bought the house Mr Vuthy Myers told Myers Cooper that his family would not live there but he would rent it to a tenant. He promised to give Myers Cooper part of the rental income but has never done so. In September 2000 Mr Vuthy Myers requested a further $1,000 from Myers Cooper for improvements to the house.

Mr Vuthy Myers and Mrs Thou Sokha bought the house together after they married. They each owned an equal share. Myers Cooper gave the money to them jointly.

After working for UNTAC, Mr Vuthy Myers worked for SCO IIC NGO.

No NGO of this name has ever operated in Cambodia. For approximately one year in 1994 Mr Vuthy Myers worked for SAO as an optical technician, but he was found not to have suitable skills and his employment was terminated.

Mr Vuthy Myers studied outside Cambodia in 12 countries.

Mr Vuthy Myers has visited two countries outside Cambodia. In 1996 he spent a few weeks in Singapore learning how to manage a bookstore. In 2005 he went to England as the guest of Myers Cooper. There is no mention of study outside Cambodia in Mr Vuthy Myers's CV.

Mr Vuthy Myers is fluent in French and English.

Mr Vuthy Myers does not know French. There is no mention of a knowledge of French in his CV. His knowledge of English was of intermediate standard but is now at a lower level.

Mr Vuthy Myers's wife could not read and write.

Mrs Thou Sokha could read and write.

While Mr Vuthy Myers was drunk, Myers Cooper and Mrs Thou Sokha tricked him into making a thumb-print on a separation agreement.

A policeman drew up an agreement in which Mrs Thou Sokha gave her share of the house to Mr Vuthy Myers while she kept custody of their two children. Mr Vuthy Myers agreed to this. Myers Cooper was not present when Mr Vuthy Myers and Mrs Thou Sokha made this agreement.

Myers Cooper gathered together Mrs Thou Sokha's possessions, took Mrs Thou Sokha and her two children away and lived with them in a rented house.

Mr Vuthy Myers and Mrs Thou Sokha agreed to separate and made thumb prints on Saturday, 9 September, 2006. On Monday, 11 September, 2006, Mrs Thou Sokha's friend helped her and her children move to a rented house. She took only her own clothes and possessions. Mr Vuthy Myers kept all furniture and equipment. Myers Cooper stayed at Mr Vuthy Myers's house until Wednesday, 13 September, 2006; then he returned to England alone.

Whenever he comes to Cambodia Myers Cooper always sleeps with Mrs Thou Sokha.

After the separation of Mr Vuthy Myers and Mrs Thou Sokha, Myers Cooper visited Cambodia on the following occasions:

January 2007: He stayed at the home of Mr Vuthy Myers.
November 2007: He stayed at the home of Mr Vuthy Myers.
February 2008: He stayed at the home of Mr Vuthy Myers.
August 2008: He stayed at a hotel.
November 2008: He stayed at the home of Mr Vuthy Myers and at a hotel.
Four visits in 2009 and 2010: He stayed at a hotel or guesthouse.

Mrs Thou Sokha left Mr Vuthy Myers and went to live with Myers Cooper.

Mrs Thou Sokha does not live with Myers Cooper. She lives alone with her two children. Myers Cooper lives in England. When he visits Cambodia he stays at the places listed above.

Mr Vuthy Myers uses alcohol as a friend in order to forget his worries.

Mr Vuthy Myers uses alcohol because he has a serious alcohol addiction problem. He always claimed that he drank alcohol because his friends forced him to do so. His use of alcohol was not the result of problems in his marriage but the cause of them: drunken behaviour, abuse and violence.

False Accusations Against Mrs Thou Sokha and Myers Cooper

Myers Cooper kissed Mrs Thou Sokha on the lips and fondled her breasts.

Myers Cooper has never kissed Mrs Thou Sokha. He has never touched her breasts.

Mr Vuthy Myers tried to explain to Myers Cooper that this was unacceptable behaviour.

Mr Vuthy Myers never talked to Myers Cooper about this matter because Myers Cooper never did what Mr Vuthy Myers has alleged.

Mrs Thou Sokha is an adulterous wife.

Mrs Thou Sokha has never committed adultery with Myers Cooper.

Mr Vuthy Myers has seen Myers Cooper kiss Mrs Thou Sokha on the lips and fondle her breasts.

Mr Vuthy Myers has not seen this because it has never happened.

What Have You Done?

The Angkor Thom magazine article quotes Vuthy as graciously offering to welcome his wife back again. Making the allegations he has seems to be a strange way of going about opening the door to a reconciliation. By making the accusations stated in his interview Vuthy has trashed Sokha's honour, caused her great distress, made her fearful for her safety, aggrieved her extended family and antagonised his children. His son had said to me a few months ago, "It would be nice to have my dad back -- if he would change." Now after observing his mother's fear, grief and distress and hearing that his grandfather cannot visit him for the foreseeable future owing to the risk of arrest, imprisonment, kidnap or murder, his attitude may well have changed.

As we walked, my imaginary friend Mr Joe Public challenged my belief in a God who could allow such events to take place.

Joe: If your God is as good and as powerful as you claim him to be, how on earth could he let something like this happen? How do you expect me to believe in a God who allows a man to go round shooting innocent people in the face?

Myers: I can’t give you a nice pat answer, Joe, because I’m not God. But can I give you a line of reasoning that works for me?

Joe: OK, convince me.

Myers: You are saying that an all-good, all-powerful God should have stopped this gunman from killing his victims. He should have acted to preserve their lives and prevent the grief now being experienced by their loved ones. Right?

Joe: Too right.

Myers: But what about all the other murders that have taken place today all over the world—some just as violent, some less so? Should God have prevented those too? Why just this high-profile incident that we are so shocked about because it is so horrible and so out of the ordinary in this area? Shouldn’t all of today’s other victims and their families have been spared too?

Joe: I suppose so, yes.

Myers: Murder is a terrible crime because of its suddenness and awful finality, but thousands of people suffer at the hands of other people, experiencing pain and grief  that goes on day after day: abuse, cruelty, torture, deprivation, oppression. Shouldn’t God have compassion on those people and protect them from their tormentors?

Joe: Logically, yes. He ought to prevent the perpetrators from harming them.

Myers: Ah, logic! So logically, God really ought to crack down on all forms of crime that harms or could harm other people: drunken or careless driving; stealing and swindling; verbal abuse; lying and deception. By why stop at actions that cause harm? Here’s another bit of logic for you: if God is who He claims to be, then He is the ultimate arbiter of what is right and wrong. Any choice that you or I make, therefore, is a choice between what God wants and what God does not want: between the best and less than the best; between right and wrong. Wouldn’t it be better for all concerned if God prevented everyone from ever making the wrong choice?

Joe: But that would make us all robots under the total control of God. Every event in life, from cradle to grave, would be dictated and foreordained. What sort of life would that be?

Myers: Precisely. And because God (I believe) created human beings with the aim of having a relationship with them in which they could choose to love Him, He had to give them freedom of choice—and that means the freedom to make the wrong choice. I don’t see how God could draw an arbitrary line: up to this level they can choose, but beyond that (and certainly including murder) they will have no choice. I don’t think you can expect God to prevent shootings without also preventing me from saying something to you that seems just a joke to me but you take as being hurtful. It's all or nothing. So a world in which there is any freedom of choice has to be a world in which people can be free to shoot and kill. That’s the way I see it; how about you, Joe?

My furry friend is, alas, no more. To paraphrase Monty Python, 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This mouse is no more! 'E has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker!

'Coffee Korner has been opened since June of 2007 and operated by Cambodian airliner’s employee English speaking fellow ages 29 years old.

'The business has been started from only drinks and coffees but since the business has been recommended to put more services especially foods and at the same time with a brilliant prospective of the owner the patron has transformed itself to be Restaurant and Bar at the same time by opening until late night where the first ever one in this area.

'The second step of the renovation is to be Guest House and Hostel where is the first ever had before in the Toultumpong area. The rooms are fully decorated with very nice and elegantly. A free wifi and hotspot service are also available in the rooms. More than that the rooms also equipped with aircon, hot water, minibar and cable TV as well.'